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Help with cancer questions, please.?

A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with (two different types) of Stage 3 breast cancer last spring. One type apparently was a very aggressive cancer – known right away. She underwent a mastectomy (with removal of 7-9 lymph nodes and still not clear), then proceeded to 2 rounds of chemo followed by radiation. 3 months post radiation it was discovered that the aggressive breast cancer had gone to her brain. She has undergone 3 craniotomies with removal of 9 tumors so far. They did a spinal tape last Friday and confirmed that the cancer is in the spinal fluid. And they said she has meningitis caused by the cancer. I don’t know if she and her husband are just not hearing the doctors or what, but no one is saying whether this is terminal or not. Can someone please help me to understand whether this is terminal or if she has a fighting chance. PS. She is type II diabetic which has made the treatments more difficult on her. Thanks for any help.

Talking with family of cancer victims, the story is very often the same. With all of what we know about cancer, it still takes us by surprise, even when we think we have it down. My friend had stage four cancer and lived another 6 years, defying everyone’s best guess and long after she had been labeled 6months to live.

Professionals are very careful about labeling people with a death sentence. Doctors like to heal people, that’s why they went all the way through medical training. They don’t like to have to practice prophecy.

Know that your friend’s condition could very well take her life. Let her family enjoy every day they have with her without attaching a presumed end to it. “Knowing” the supposed length of her life now isn’t going to change your friendship–so try not to focus on the end date. Try to keep loving the friend you know and be there for her and her family.